My friend Felice has been on a few dates with a guy who seems obviously interested in her based on their interactions thus far.
He calls. He takes her out. He follows up and asks to take her out again.
Still, my friend Felice questions his interest based on a small admission he made during one of their dates.
His last serious girlfriend was an all-american blonde. (Felice is an ethnic brunette.)
During a recent conversation, Felice asked me the question I’m not sure how to answer any more.
How much do "types" matter in relationships?
I used to think "types" mattered a lot. If a guy at a bar had a thing for Asian or "exotic" (Ugh, I hate that term) girls, I could count on him to approach me. Likewise, my friends who were attracted to tall, dark and handsome types generally ended up with them on the dance floor.
But over the years, I’ve watched friends fall for people who don’t fit their "types" at all. Guy friends ending up with women I would’ve never pictured them with. Girlfriends ending up with guys shorter or bigger or more ethnic or whatever than they’d ever described in our young girltalks.
So you’d think based on all that, the simple, evolved answer, would be that types don’t matter. After a certain level of maturity, people look beyond hair, eye, skin, height, weight, etc. to fall in love with what lies beneath.
Initially, I told Felice not to worry, that types don’t matter at our age.
Unfortunately, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if it’s really that simple.
I mean, don’t we have "types" because it’s a natural, almost animalistic thing – to be drawn to a certain look of a human being that causes a chemical reaction in ourselves?
So as much as you may feel – or want to feel – satisfied by the nice, funny, gold-hearted person who happens to be the opposite of your type, isn’t it just simple fact that you’d be a lot more excited if those qualities were packaged in the "type" that makes you feel all tingly inside?
Thankfully, I think Felice’s new man has also dated non-Blondes, so my theory doesn’t have to
apply to her potentially budding relationship.
The asterisk in all this seems to be that some people truly don’t have types.
Which, at the end of the day, leaves hope for us all.