Saturday, February 9, 2008

Settling: A Good Thing

AHA! I finally discovered the magic editing tool in this blog software, and have used it to delete the entire The Number comment section! So please, people, let's consider this a fresh start. And remember, this Blog Administrator has a secret weapon and I'm not afraid to use it again!

On a totally different note, here's a really interesting article from The Atlantic in which the author makes a strong case for Settling instead of holding out for The One.

If you're holing up in your apartment this weekend hiding from the cold, it's worth the read.

Still trying to decide how I feel about it. Will let it marinade and come back with my thoughts next week.

Have a great weekend everybody!


InFact said...

Settling for a husband because you never get to see him anyway (a paraphrase of the author's comments in the Atlantic Monthly)?

That's what she writes.

How sad.

Her viewpoint is lamentable, given there's no sense of spirit and romance in her striving to find love.

She writes about a marriage as if matrimony is a business plan approved by a Board of Directors consisting of one person: herself.

In my humble opinion, settling is the WORST idea and initiates a marriage with frustration as the lead headline.

Instead, I see a relationship as evolving, with marriage the initial exciting action that confirms trust in caring about each other's progress, creativity, career, and health.

It may sound trite, but love is a process, a gift, a cultivated garden that two people create with hard work and constant vigilance.

It's not a smooth running, mundane "non-profit" business as the author writes.

She's in her head, a calculated planner -- but a marriage is indeed a practical choice in terms of life's economic necessitites. Yet it's also much more, and I, for one, am glad that I don't feel my choice was a compromise.

She's a great woman and we don't have a non-profit business plan to make our marriage work.

What we have is shared conversation, laughter, dancing, running, xc skiing, and, best, raising a sweet, blessed kid who is our Love Poem.

John said...

"Once you’re married, it’s not about whom you want to go on vacation with; it’s about whom you want to run a household with."

Uh er to the above quote.

It was a lot of work just to finish that piece. My interest faded with every page.

Perhaps the author's problem is her poor taste in television programs and books?

In order to attract anyone, you have to be comfortable with yourself. That's a big challenge for a lot of people.

I'm not really interested in having friends who divulge that much information about their significant others, good or bad.

This author kept dating a guy because he was "handsome, successful and smart," which was valued over "rude to the waiter."(assumably unprovoked). I can see why she is more interested in managing a business/relationship than the passion and love that go along with that. No wonder she is where she is in life.

I do agree that some people idealize marriage and don't realize that there is a lot of work involved beyond the fun stuff. But take a look at the author's many examples. These are faceless shallow people who's concerns are more about how others perceive them, than how they perceive themselves.

Be open to new things, and respectful of others at all times regardless of whom they are, but dive into the pool of your own interests on a daily basis and live life, rather than chasing it. The author is clearly chasing some idealized perceptions, instead of living life.

That's a recipe for never being happy, and that is also not attractive to others.

GiGi said...

She had me a little at first, I’ll admit. But then I kept reading, and she lost me more and more. When the article ended, and I realized she wasn’t engaged to one of her blind date “schmos,” I knew for certain she was full of crap.