OK, fellas, pop quiz:
My friend McConnell is a very pretty girl. So pretty that she can roll out of bed and head out unshowered with no makeup on, and guys will still ask for her number. So stylin’ that on a recent date, random women felt inclined to throw out praise as she walked by – "You go, girl," "You look awesome in that dress, "etc.
So then, in your opinion, how often should the guy she’s been seeing tell her she looks good?
- never, she gets it enough. I don’t want her to get a big head.
- Whenever she tells me I look handsome.
- Every time I’m struck by it. And that’s often.
The correct answer is C. Trust me. I’ve done much research on the topic recently, and am reporting these findings to help make everyone’s life more beautiful.
In McConnell’s case, she was starting to wonder if maybe her new guy didn’t think she looked good. Because she’d get compliments from girlfriends and random strangers, but not from the man she was actually trying to look good for.
It’s the Pretty Paradox: I think men sometimes assume that women who are attractive know they are attractive an don’t need to hear it from one more. But in fact, it’s the opposite. The more you hear it from strangers, the more important it is to hear it from your beau.
Because he, after all, is the reason you put on the hot dress and curl your eyelashes. So when he says nothing, even the prettiest of women are left to wonder – are the strangers lying? Or does my boyfriend think I’m ugly?
McConnell isn’t the only one. I have lots of girlfriends who have had similar concerns.
My friend Felice ended an on-again-off-again relationship with a guy, one of the major reasons being he never said it enough. And I remember like yesterday a 1999 break-up where my getting-over-him anthem became -- (don't laugh) -- TLC's "Unpretty."
For better or for worse, women need to be told they look good by their men.
I realize there are some other issues involved in this discussion. Like that women aren’t the only ones who should be complimented – guys need to be told they look good, too. Or that it’s a sad commentary that so many women put such high value on physical appearance instead of celebrating their inner spirit.True, all true.
But as of where we are today, any girl will tell you there’s nothing better than having the guy you love watch you with that funny smile, and then tell you that you’re beautiful..
Call us insecure. Call us needy.
Just also call us pretty.