Thursday, December 20, 2007

Response Times

My friend Felice recently met a guy through friends. They hit it off that night, exchanged numbers and made plans to go out again.

And then the phone tag began:

He called and left a voicemail.

She worked late, so called back the next day and left a voicemail.

Then there was a lag of a few days.

When they finally connected, he apologized, saying it had been a crazy week. They made plans to go out, but Felice couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he should've gotten back to her sooner despite the craziness.

Around the same time, my friend Tori started going out with a guy she met on the Internet. He was nice and they always had a good time when they went out. But Tori had a problem with the way conversations went on the phone/via text in between dates.

She would text.

He would text back.

She would text.

He wouldn't respond. And wouldn't respond. Until a few days later, finally, when he did.

These two examples have gotten me thinking about Response Times, and how important they can be.

My friends Felice and Tori prefer to hear back from guys right away, and I can't say I disagree. To me, it's an easy way to show you're attentive and interested.

But I've bounced this off a couple of guy friends who say this isn't necessarily true. Guys are different. They don't like talking on the phone. And they don't put as much stock in text messages, the guys say.


Because if this is true, it's a major disconnect in the way men and women think.

I'd love to hear other people's thoughts, so weigh in.

Ten bucks says the women respond more quickly. :o)

PS) Think I've finally settled in enough to pronounce a routine for blogging -- and just in time for a new New Year's Resolution! See you here on Tuesdays and Thursdays from here on out. Have a great weekend everybody!


David said...

I'll take my $10 in one crisp new bill please.

David said...

I think if your truly interested in someone then you would want to call/text them back right away. I mean really it's the choices you make, how long does it take to say "I'm thinking about you" via a phonecall or text message.

Matt said...

Just remember if a guy comes out and calls/texts right away or god forbid replies to an email right away, we read something about "does he have a job"? "Is it creepy that he responds back like he is waiting for for me to make contact"?

Guys are in a lose, lose situation . . . well maybe not, if everyone would just act "normal". Could he have made the time to get back to her right away, absolutely. But then again why does everything have to be analyzed to death. Just go out with him again and see if it works out.

Michael said...

If you meet a girl who rocks your world you will not hesitate to text, write or call. I'm thinking these guys weren't that impressed with your lady friends : (

Meg said...

I'm having flashbacks to the "what the time of day says about you" blog on JSO. LOL

I...think I agree with Matt.

When I first met my man, we'd have a date, then Mon or Tues exchange a few emails/calls, then usually not talk again until Thurs/Fri after I set up my sitter. We'd maybe talk on Saturday if I was out with friends, to see where the other would be - maybe run into each other.

I had no doubt he was interested. We were both busy, him with work, freelance and friends, me with work, kids, friends. We *both* made the effort, but didn't let other things slack for it. And that was nearly 5 years ago!

jac said...

Hope Chicago is treat you well!

We miss you at the JS Online blog. Not the same w/o you!

Hope you did not land in a nest below a Clopping Lady above! :-)

1 packerfan said...


I think the response time will vary due to what your doing at the time. Occassionally I will e-mail/text and respond very quickly and maybe after a few messages I have something to do so I get that done and then respond back. I think you might be right on the way men & women think though since their is this "need" to get things done that most men have and really if the original message was responded to, then anything after that is a bous. While not PC...we do have work to do so if the guys don't check in again for a few days that should be OK if the Original message was responded to quickly....

Just my opinion but I think its pretty good since thats what Ive done for 16 1/2 years of marriage...

Ed/Kalille/ still anonymous!

John said...

Depends on multiple things. He may be busy. He may not like her that much. He may not want to seem overly eager. It's definitely not a male/female thing. If you are interested, answer back right away, when you can, preferrably speaking on the phone or in person. Only use email or text if you know someone well imo. Games are for amateurs.